I HAD NOOOO IDEA my “accidental” personal growth path would cause so much stress in others.
I see why sometimes you have to let people go from your life, especially those closest to you. If anyone would know your triggers it would be those closest, like family.
Seeing my significant other become apparently stressed just by me showing up in the moment and my true self seems to be inadvertently making some choose a stress-induced hate like energy.
Unfortunately, since I’m still a caterpillar in my cocoon of personal growth I’m getting highly triggered by others who are getting triggered…. Haha I know it sounds ridiculous. Now i will say these are “upgraded triggers” but triggers non the less.
All I’m saying is we could f******g die today or tomorrow and when conversation topics are about yard landscaping, commitment to people or projects, giving or withholding love it has become so mind numbing and shocking that I don’t know what to do besides reverting to my “hit the walls with my fist” self.
Now I need to check my own self because being triggered by “yard work” would have been an anxiety ridden ordeal and that was me not too long ago. I mean just the thought of having to make a decision was like a death sentence. So I guess in a sense this is karma? Maybe I was taking my stress out on other people and even though I may be at a higher level of growth I’m still doing the same thing that others are putting on me.
My reactions to stress induced triggers have only improved significantly and I’m also having positive affects with the people around me, yet I’m still acting no better than anyone else dreaming with anxiety when I do hit my limit.
This weekend was rough, as most of my weekends are lately, and i think a secret goal of mine is to start having beautiful wonderful loving fun. However, it seems I have a few more weekends to learn hard lessons in order to check my own ego with others.
I have to invest in the behavior I want to receive and then the universe will return that investment. 🤔🤞🤪🤞
SIDE NOTE: IF I WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO ACCEPT A NEGATIVE SIDE OF ME I WILL NEED TO BE READY TO RECEIVE IT RIGHT BACK. BECAUSE WHAT U WANT IN OTHERS BETTER BE SOMETHING YOU WILL ALSO ACCEPT OF OTHERS WHEN THE ROLES GET REVERSED.